I betrayed my heart when I sent this message
In recontacting an ex-lover, I wrote some words that I now regret. Let me tell you why!
I haven't told you this yet... Last February, shortly after my arrival in Mexico, I reconnected with the man with whom I'd had a beautiful (and sad) romantic affair last summer.
We'd talked about Mexico together, and I was dying to tell him that I was there now. Of course, my intention was also to test the waters, to see if he missed me, if he'd changed his mind about our situation... all the while pretending to be completely detached from the outcome, of course.
Flashback.
“I've sometimes thought about reaching out to you, but even though I know you think otherwise, I believe we did the right thing stopping to see each other,” he writes, over the course of our text conversation.
“I also believe we did the right thing,” I reply, with a lot of confidence. “If we had been together, I wouldn't have focused on my business, and I would have prioritized joining you over going to visit Mexico, which was my dream.”
“I'm glad to know I didn't get in the way of your dreams, that I didn't hold you back.”
Ouch. That message feels like a punch in the stomach.
Is it true? Would he have really got in the way of my dreams?
This question started to haunt me.
During a conversation with one of my colivers in San Cristóbal, I finally remembered something to be true: to this day, I've never regretted following my heart.
Over the course of my life, I've made many irrational and slightly crazy decisions in the pursuit of my passions, which have taken the form of jobs, people, places, trainings, ideals...
And even if these passions have always had an expiration date, they pushed me towards the next stages of my journey. They made my life an adventure worth living.
The truth is, if the desire had been mutual, NOTHING would have made me happier than dating this man. How could he have stood in the way of my dreams when he was one of their vessels? After all, my heart had chosen him.
I would have continued to grow my business no matter what... slowly (and yes, I do notice in 2024 that even without a man in my life, #snail mode is my default mode 🐌).
And I would have visited Mexico one day, no matter what.
Following this man would have led me to discover new places, new people, new parts of myself, new passions... which would have created great opportunities. No matter the length of our relationship.
To this day, almost 6 months after sending that message, I still regret it.
Not because I think the outcome of our story would have been different, but because I betrayed my heart when I wrote it.
Sometimes, our ‘reasonable’ side hides our heart’s messages in an effort to be more rational, more realistic or even more optimistic.
When this happens, our words sound fake and misaligned.
It's time make our heart and reason sing together! :)
PS- let’s get you started on how to learn to understand and speak the language of your heart! Start a coaching journey with me now!! Everything starts with a chat :)